i don't like sucking hair
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
