I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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