That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
