i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
