Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
