I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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