We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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