i permit you to call me
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
