The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
