You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You're like the curious george of whores
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
