i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
