party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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