oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
