So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
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Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
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The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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