ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
