She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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