did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
How naked do you want me to be?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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