He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
