At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
