erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
