You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
