hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
