Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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