Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
