He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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