Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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