I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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