Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
