Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
