The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I need water and some morals
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
