how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize