sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
