Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
