i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
