one two three fourrrrnication!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
