OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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