I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
