im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize