Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
