u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
