We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
not ubering you a puppy
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
