maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
