Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
