we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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