Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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