I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
