Swine flu. Run for my life!
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
we made out on top of his cat.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
