Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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