hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Randomize
