they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There's always time for handjobs
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She's not a foreskin expert like you
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
