Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
