go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
