I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
a search helicopter?!
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
