I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize