I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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