I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Found the puke drawer
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
