I must be too annoying 4 u.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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