I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
