The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
