Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
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