He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
this will be a night to untag.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
